Friday 9 December 2011

Moving Up

"The Magical Mystery Tour is hoping to take you away...dying to take you away, take you today!" 

Ladies and Gentlemen, I'd just like to say after the 'Bitterness and Hope' and 'Bad Day' (yet to be published) I am Getting Better. I picked myself up and became an atheist, ignored the ignorance around me, ignored the problems that society brilliantly suffers from, became a better writer, AND I got a new girlfriend. Not only that but I'm in an important concert, I'm currently trying to get a column in a newspaper, I suddenly became a good rapper and somewhat a musician, and I could go to S.A next year for Debating ( I came out first in my school debating team) and stay in the same hotel as Rick FREAKIN' Ross!!!! So just a message to the people telling me to stop using big words or chastizing me for liking The Beatles and being the awesome nerd I am, y'all can go suck a ..... anyways I'm gloriously happy.

Oh and next year...well next year's Form 2s are gonna see less of me... quite an allusion that is easy to understand.

To First Class English...guys there is a teensy weensy problem ....
And to Haadiya....I'm sorry.

CLICK HERE: Oh and check out my sister's video...if you don't I'm really screwed cause my life is hanging of a thread here...just go watch her sing  on the internet, unlike the other guitar swing  girls with dreams she is African.

Black Power!

Oh and thanks for a good year dear readers, I've got over 3000 views and I'm steadily building up to 4000....maybe it'll be there by end December ( I'm idealist, despite the lack of faith).
One more thing though, Life In The Third Person and subsidiaries ( Stuff I Wite and Old School) are on break till further notice...I need to relax, study (ignore the contradiction) and.... my mom is refusing to pay for the internet and I don't know how long I can keep mooching off my Aunties....

God gave me wings so I fly for free
I fly across my own skies not your alleys
Unlocked my own cage, so let me be
I gave myself wings so I fly for free

'Till next year! Moving Up!


Monday 28 November 2011

Free Bird

Free Bird
For my dear friend Nandini, stay 'epic.

The bird in the broken cage

Has reached her coming of age

Will she wear a scarf or a veil?

Who is to marry this young female?

The bird who flaps her young wings

Is not allowed to sing

She may not partake in her becoming

And she must not think of ever parting

The cage was once so strong

The days when the bird sang her song

She must now be silent

There is no room for defiance

The caretakers wish to fix the metal bars

They wish not for the bird to move too far

They polish and shine their deadly stronghold

No stories of freedom to be ever told

Pieces of the hatched egg surrounds the bird

Gossip has spread, broken, cracked and heard

Burning wildfire of the spoken word

Has burnt the feathers of this poor bird

The bird in the broken cage

Has reached her coming of age

Please set her free

Unlink the chains and let her be

Open the doors and let her see

Please set her free

Let her smile shine

Let her be mine

Let her long hair flow

Please let this sweet bird grow

Let her fly into the bright sky

Let her live and never let her die

Wipe her tears so she may not cry

Please let this bird fly

By Tawanda 'Butterfly' Mulalu

Image courtesy of some site that I copy and pasted from using a search engine ( it was 'Bing,' because you know default search provider...damn school computers).


Oh and Natasha and Vamika... I have not forgotten about your posts, they'll be up soon.
P.S Hope you feel better Nandini
P.P.S Happy Two Month Anniversary Haadiya! <3 Oh...wait...that's on Tuesday....

Tuesday 22 November 2011

Seventeenth One


  
Part One on the series: 'An Introduction To G-Jam.'



[Three names of girls] are part of one of the 'biggest' 'choirs' in Form 1.Their name- 'G-Jam.' I prefer to call them the 'The Squeaky Girls.' In all honesty they CAN sing, I maintain this fact. BUT they prefer to squeak incessantly and annoyingly. I was bribed by one of the central members about something involving her sister (God forbid) and was forced to ask my current girlfriend to dance with me, ballroom-style. How terribly exciting. As we 'danced' we were treated to an accapella version of ‘Can You Feel the Love Tonight' from The Lion King. It was one of THOSE remixes. Anyway let’s just say they put OPERA to shame. Now after having to endure that, I thought everything would end. Instead of the blissful silence that I had envisioned, I was treated to a full blown concert. I simply sat down next to my girlfriend, arm around her shoulder and enjoyed it. She was having fun, so I did too. I shall entitle the concert And So They Squeaked (Again). The concert had remixes of Adele, a few original pieces and even a few Beatles songs. I say (with background from Fifi) 'I Wanna Hold Your Hand' to my girlfriend and we got really into it. Her friends had their 'ewwww' faces on. It was really enjoyable in the end. And we all joined in, squeaking horribly out of tune but still smiling deliriously.



This is totally not what happened.



This article was more or less an 'inside joke.' Laugh, or stare at your computer in confused disdain.

P.S Nandini, I've got a very special post lined up for you, I hope you'll like it.

Friday 11 November 2011

A Traumatic Experience

So.... a guy in my classroom got stuck in the P.E toilet room.
You're probably like: "So what?"
But he got stuck in there for 25 min.
In a P.E toilet.

A Physical Education Toilet.

What do you think a manly man, after a long and tiring game will do to a toilet?


villains.wikia.com

Now that is more than slightly disturbing.
It's just.....disturbing.

Oh and the guy was stuck in there for about 25 min....
That's 24.9999999999999999999999999999999 minutes too many.

Clearly he has had a traumatic experience.

He's gonna need a therapist considering how many people laughed at him.


It's gonna be okay.



I remember I got stuck in that toilet, but only for like 5 minutes (I still have nightmares).
Someone has gotta fix that door handle.

Atomic Aura


I love alternative rock, soft rock and all of that jazz...
Our school just happens to have a band called Atomic Aura!
And they are awesome! Check out their facebook page, which has links to their music.

Find them here....



https://www.facebook.com/atomicauraband

Joining the Nerd Revolution

 In the computer room once again with another good case of writer's block, I refuse to admit that my creative period is over...let me post a conversation I had with Tumo.

Tumo: Join the nerd revolution!
Tawanda: I already joined.
Tumo: Then disconnect, and join again!
Tawanda: I disconnected when I got a girlfriend. I rejoined when I started talking to you.

This merely an example of my wry type of humour, normally used when I'm not happy.

Anyways join the  Nerd Revolution!

(wry-humour responses may be posted in the comments section)



Revolution. The Nerd Way.

Thursday 10 November 2011

Tuesday 1 November 2011

Class


Class



I stay bored, lying in my gentle abode

I seek more, and sigh from staying alone

Sand in the hourglass float and fall

Children grow and mature, becoming tall

Papers crinkle and pencil marks are erased

Journeys ending I remain un-phased

Passing phase, perform on a dying stage

All that ends once you age

Money burns and corpses rot

And soon I die- forget me not

Ancient texts of gold and solemn wonder

Twisting and turning, living and earning I meander

Words too short and words too long

It makes me wonder where they belong

Sodden clothing stained with tears

Awake now and realize fear

Blood and sweat drip and taint

Cold anger makes you shake

Suddenly warmer appears a saint

Though life is you and what you make

As a wise man said:

'The love you make

Is equal to that you take'

Twisted speech is what wins bread

Poison and cyanide, speed and cheap lead

None prescribed and all are dead

Death and life lay hand in hand

Not all can comply with this simple demand

Find someone and rest on their shoulder

Summon strength and lift the bolder

The silver apple that lies in secret garden

Pluck it and become warrior ardent

Let me lie, I am not of this time

True or false all remains fine



byTawanda W.T Mulalu



To be published on www.stuffiwite.blogspot.com as part of 'Bad Poetry II.'

Wednesday 19 October 2011

Go On and Smile.

When people get braces or eyeglasses- they think their personal life is over. When people get BOTH...then well...oh darn.

But some people can pull off both.

And you Haadiya are one of those people.

So do me a favour and smile.

'Cause you have a lovely sweet smile- with or without braces.

Oh and happy 2-cycle anniversary. 

My cheek is still warm.






Here's a heart for you- a diagram of a REAL heart, with labels.
Love you.

Monday 17 October 2011

Oh Internet

Oh The Internet, why so cruel?
You have blocked yourself..
And left me to suffer.
Oh Internet.

Friday 23 September 2011

Good Luck, Mr. Kgosiemang.

Well I've gotta say mate I'm pretty jealous. You've got a lot going for you! United Nations and your wonderful girlfriend is already missing you. Though I'm still gonna hit you when you get back- thats for sure. (Oh and dude, remember to promote me while you're there! Don't freakin' forget! I need this!)

But for now, I'm gonna bow my head and say (albeit with a smile):

'Good Luck, Mr. Kgosiemang.'

This how you'll look like at the United Nations thingie.

And for the rest of you, well here's what the story is all about anyways:
(from www.gabzfm.com) 

'Tao Kgosiemang gets a United Nations Board member seat
News
Monday, 01 November 2010 10:13
A standard 7 student of Northside Primary school, Tao Kgosiemang, has been given a United Nations Environmental Programme Junior Board member seat.The 12 year-old attended the children's conference in Japan last week with the outgoing Junior Board member Maiken Hamaluba.
All the Junior Board members are leaders and active members of an environmental organisation.
He definitely looks 'sensitive.'
The Junior Board members are aged between 10 and 12 years old at the time of election.
The board is elected at the biannual Tunza International Children's Conference.
It has a mandate to serve for two years until the next Board is elected.
The Board works closely with UNEP and advises how to make UNEP processes more appealing to children and sensitive to their needs.'









Good luck bra.





...


I really just wanted to add this...You gotta let me off on at least this one!
    Oh...and this too: http://lifeinthethirdperson.blogspot.com/p/bitterness-and-hope.html

    Fifteenth One

    "Excelsior!"

    In case you haven't noticed I've been a whole lot of bitter recently...but I feel like things are shaping up.
    In fact-
    They are Getting Better.
    First of all I'm content with being single, though I occasionally yearn to talk to a girl or something.
    Second of all, I'm growing taller.
    Third of all, I'm reading a lot of good literature and a few graphic novels. Very satisfying.
    Fourth of all, my writing is actually a bit better now. I'm really happy about that one.
    Fifth of all, I'm learning how to debate.
    Sixth of all, I'm actually a decent actor ( to the point where me and Haadiya were acting out a scene- that a bunch of guys think that we were in a relationship and that I was cheating on her.)
    Seventh of all, I'm listening to good music.
    Eight of all, I had a great conversation with my grandparents.
    Ninth of all, I'm learning to be human.
    Tenth of all, I've realized that I'm pretty worth all the damn trouble I've been given. And that I'm gonna make it out of all these stupid messes somehow.

    And I don't need a some 'god out of the machine' to be bail me out. I'm gonna think and do something with my life. I'm going to be a writer, amateur or not. I'm gonna write at least one good story.

    I'm going to do it.

    Oh and you know, I had a really good day today.

    One more thing, good luck to Tao Kgosiemang with his United Nations stuff; I know he'll do a good job.

    Here's his story...

    And if he did what I asked him to, then all you other United Nation kids, I gotta say "Hi there! I'm Tawanda W.T Mulalu, an aspiring writer! How about checking out the rest of my blog? You should definitely check out the story I wrote, it's called 'Bitterness and Hope.' Follow my blog, share it and enjoy! Oh and good luck to you guys too!"

    Though the above statement is relying on Tao...which means its pretty much redundant.

    Well I can hope can't I?

    Friday 16 September 2011

    Fourteenth One

    I got a B for English because of my arrogance.
    I've never been downgraded because of my the nature of my personality.
    *Sigh*
    Trevor spent most of English laughing at 'what could have been' while I mindlessly answered questions and fell into a deep state of daydreaming.
    By the way...through the aid of Wikipedia and various other websites ( and Google of course- you can't deny Google ( well China did (Well they do things differently there ( Mind control I mean ( I'm being monitored (Oh and I'm kinda scared ( Help...( I'v lost track of how many brackets I used...(I'll count ))))))
    I probably mis-counted.
    Oh yeah, (ignore the incorrect grammar) through the aid of ... I have diagnosed myself with developing psychopathy...
    And I must say- its really creepin' me out
    Lord help me...



    Tuesday 13 September 2011

    Thirteenth One

    "Smile..."
    School tomorrow and I haven't done a thing about my bags and stationery yet...
    Problem is I can't say a word about stationery to my mom otherwise she'll kill for even mentioning that word...
    So basically I'm stuck going to school with no stationery and I'm gonna have to rely on my very 'kindly' friends for assistance. In other words I'm screwed... to make matters worse I'm getting writer's block again and it doesn't seem to be helping my writing at all for example right now....
    Hey but no matter. I'll get back into it as soon as I can...Well I will try.


    *sigh*

    Isn't This Where You Started?

    "Smile..."

    (this is another non-canon blog post, ignore it)


    Well isn't it? Maybe I should start doing other things and actually complete the plethora of stories I set out to write....
    So here are my plans-

    Blog post:
    Continuation of Normal Blog Post starting from next week.
    'Wilted Rose'
    'The Loved and Forgotten Parts 4-10 (I promise the next ones will actually be good)'
    'Butterflies and Flowers'
    'Flowers and Butterflies'
    'Why I'll Be Dead'
    'There's this Girl' (A post for Neelo)
    'Fifi and Tao'
    'An Interview with T.Blogger'
    'School Trip'
    'School Trip Again'
    'School Trip Again Again'
    'Online Games'
    'Comics Showcase'
    'My Art'
    'The Sandman'
    'Tawanda's Guide To The Galaxy'
    'Ice' (Supernatural story suggested by Sedia)

    Oh and you're probably not even going to get or see half of these.
    However expect a blog post about my first day of school (again) and , then another 'Loved and Forgotten'
    And then....
    The continuation as normal.
    Hoorah! Excelsior!
    And Enthusiasm.
    "Smile..."

    Sunday 4 September 2011

    Okay, so it appears that I haven't posted in like two weeks, I plan on fixing that. Just not now.
    See you in a while....

    Saturday 20 August 2011

    Sunday 14 August 2011

    Friday 12 August 2011

    Thanks For Coming To The Show.

    He held the white tablets in his hand and he squeezed tight. His pants were down, he had fallen off the toilet seat in a desperate attempt to get some toilet paper...
    "How pathetic." he grumbled as he downed the pills with a sip of tap water. He groaned.
    He looked at the label on the packed, he went down to the ingredients- 'Paracetamol' it read. He didn't bother reading the amount of grams. It didn't matter, he just needed some in his system.
    He led himself out of the bathroom and collapsed into a tired heap on his bed. He picked up his phone and looked at the message. He sighed, he knew what he had to do. His birthday was tomorrow, he needed to tell her before the day came. It was time to change into his future.
    He cried, it was his decision but he cried.
    He wouldn't see his friends again, his family again.
    He wouldn't see himself again.
    After January it would be the end.
    He allowed himself one more thought, one more monologue before he would sleep.
    He whispered solemnly, but contently:
    "Love you all, thanks for coming to the show. Sorry it's time to go. I need to do it for the greater good of humanity, I need to go do things, discover more, save anyone and everyone. It's because I love you all that I'm going to never see you again. At least you'll have The Scientist, so long Player, so long."
    He looked sadly at his stuffed animals and wiped his tears.
    "Paul, John... Goodnight."

    Thursday 11 August 2011

    Unknown Emotion...

    Okay so I was in bad patch last year (yes... a tiny bit DID have to do with this girl I really liked;it's not my ex so I'm not telling you who it was but it was mostly me) so I wrote this crap poem (only later to discover that Mr. Haggar has been marking BEFORE I came to M.a.P...damn.


    My blood spills, a river of broken promises
    My head hurts like a thousand goodbyes
    My heart beats as slowly as my emotions build
    I reach for contentment, yet I cannot find it
    I feel the world around me and note my flawed Science
    I look at death and it reminds me:
    The only thing I always wanted was not knowledge
    Was not life
    Was not love
    But resolve
    Resolve to keep searching for new questions
    So that I could then use knowledge as an answer
    And then define my answers with love
    So I stand up and smile
    At least let's go away for a while
    I feel yellow
    And I walk away, content


    THIS IS THE EDITED VERSION. PROMISE TO POST SOMETHING GOOD TOMORROW.

    Thursday 4 August 2011

    Virtual Chocolate - Go On, Take a Bite. (Mmmm...Virtual...)

    It's for you Haadiya- All I can say (quoted from the words of another) is "Sorry."

    Okay, I'm a dog, I'm a hypocrite
    And there's plenty of reason to have a fit
    I know you're mad
    I know I'm bad
    Especially considering what I'm worth
    If you wondering, I mean dirt
    I'm not the good person, I'm not fair
    Despite that kindness you share
    I'm a jerk
    I'm broken toy
    I don't work
    But you're different, you're a light
    And I'm not even worth your sight
    You're the type of light that dispells-
    All the darkness and everyone tells-
    You how great you are
    You know you're a star
    I'm not right
    You're the light
    I'm waiting for day you stop your fight
    You don't need to but you do
    I couldn't care less but I do
    But it doesn't matter
    As long as I'm not putting a smile on your face
    As long as I disgrace your grace
    Then obviously I'm not worth your time
    I'm worse than sour, just a lime
    But you're sweet not bitter
    So I'm sorry for being the rubbish-the litter

    Wednesday 3 August 2011

    Stop Planning

    When I'm bored and tired, my writing sucks...

    Drop the compass, throw away the map
    You can't find the Earth if you can't find yourself
    You're nowhere if you're not somewhere,
    And if you are somewhere, it isn't anywhere without someone special
    You can't smile if there's nothing worth smiling for
    But if you can read this, there's plenty to smile about
    But plenty about to shout as well
    I've got a question for you before I stop my planning, my scheming 
    I just want to know that if I fell
    That perhaps you might catch me
    Maybe then, I'd find some meaning
    In this damn, messed up thing you call life
    The thing filled with so much strife
    But I'll stop planning for you
    So long you promise too

    Sunday 31 July 2011

    Send Me a Rose Tomorrow.


    "Amber?"
    "Yes?"
    "Can I borrow your phone? It's kinda urgent."
    "Who are you calling?"
    "Someone."
    "And, who is the someone?"
    "Someone..."
    "You have to tell me if you want to call."
    "Fine."
    I looked around for a second, gazing suspiciously at anything and everything, anyone and everyone. I saw Tlhalefo, Amber, Bontle and Troy near the bench around me. After a few more seconds of observation, I decided it was safe, but only for a whisper.
    In a hushed tone, I spoke as soft as I could: "Rose."
    Amber smiled with the type of happiness you rarely see in anyone in highschool, she smiled a cutesy toddler smile and said, with an almost equal amount on true/false innocence: "Is she your girlfriend?"
    I remained silent, thinking of a good answer.
    Amber sighed and mocked my stupid shyness.
    "Everyone knows, and you both make it kinda obvious."
    "Whatever." I muttered. "Just pass the phone."
    I took the phone and typed in Rose's number, I needed to talk to her.
    "Hi Rose." 
    I tried my best not to smile, people were looking.
    "You know we can't stop everybody from finding out right? It was gonna happen eventually."
    I heard her sigh at the other end of the line.
    Reassuringly I said "I'll think of something, don't worry. Bye and see you tomorrow."
    And then my blood stopped flowing for a while, and I stopped worrying about everybody else.
    "Love you too." I said into the microphone.
    As I handed back the phone, everybody was staring at me awkwardly.
    "What?" I said, acting oblivious to the unfolding drama.
    "Nothing." they chorused.
    Cheryl came onto the scence, bouncing across happily as usual.
    "Hey everybody!" she exclaimed as jumped onto the bench.
    I wondered what my next course of action should be, and then I decided that collecting information would be a good start.
    "So..." I muttered weakly. I was now very aware at how weird everything was becoming, I merely smiled.
    "Does everybody know?" I continued.
    For a moment there was an eerie yet calm silence.
    "About you and Rose?" said Cheryl excitedly. "Please.... You don't know me Tawanda! I'm the gossip queen! OF COURSE I KNOW. INFACT MY WHOLE CLASS KNOWS!"
    [Those letters are capitalised for a reason.]
    "But how?" I replied, doing my best to show genuine surprise. Rumours always spread.
    "Don't know" they all replied.
    I growled.

    Freakin' liars...


    Next time: Thanks For The Rose.






    Saturday 30 July 2011

    Let's Go Away For A While pt 3

    ...

    Let's Go Away For A While pt 2

    Another Clue- Replace the 't' in 'mat' with the letter before and add If am going too Hell (The letters are bold for a reason)

    You remain silent. You want to say yes but you're afraid.
    "What about our friendship?" you ask timidly.
    Finally I say. "Screw it. You're coming with me and that's that."
    You hesitate as I hold out my hand.
    "Fine.' you mutter as you hold take hold of it.
    I think to myself: 'Finally , I win.'
    Then-
    I beat that skinny basta.....

    NEW!

    My blog really needed a new look and stuff, so I've just finished cleaning it up and giving it a new design. It's showing an artistic change and I hope you all like it. I'll follow up with a post soon so watch out for that.

    Friday 29 July 2011

    What to Expect

    -Let's Go Away For A While II.
    -On/Off.
    -The Player and the Sweetheart.
    -Blue Rose. (Poem)
    -There's a Gibson on the Wooden Floor.
    -Blog Post...The Thirteenth One and The Fourteenth One.
    -Some Other Stuff

    Hope you like it all and don't forget to comment and share..peace out.

    Thursday 28 July 2011

    I'm On The Beach

    I'm on the Beach
    Don't run towards me 
    I'm out of reach
    I'm on the Beach
    Don't bother calling me
    I can't hear speech
    I'm on the Beach
    Come back.' Tis you I beseech
    I'm on the Beach...

    Tuesday 26 July 2011

    Let's Go Away For A While.

    Here is a clue to who the main character is... 'The cat' with an 'h' as in 'he'


    I'm going away, maybe for a while. I'd like you to come with me, but I don't know how to tell you.
    Please.
    Let's go away for a while.

    I adjust my glasses as I make my silent approach, the really cool dude is shouting "Enthusiasim!" and is pushing me towards you. I wipe the sweat from my brow. The time is right, I've gotta tell you.
    The dark dude smiles and nods his head. The Hamster releases a silent chuckle as I wave my fist in fury at him.
    I push through the crowd of girls and boys, I push past the teacher. I finally make it to you.
    You look up to me as if my head is in the clouds, it might as well be, considering how tall I am compared to you. But that's what I like about you, your small figure reminds me everyday, how cute you are.  I love the way your hair goes over your eyes, the way you flick it out of your sight with your tiny soft hands, the hands I want to hold. I hear the guy with the Afro laughing as you start screaming at your friends over something I don't know about. I'm waiting for them to leave, I just want to talk to you, just you, before I leave.
    Finally I gain the courage to convince your friends to leave, I manage to drag them away with the help of the really cool dude. He give me the 'thumbs up' as he leaves us alone, the same 'thumbs up' he always draws in his books. Then, there is still, eerie silence as I stare at you. For a while you avoid my gaze, but now you are looking me in the eyes. I'm now lost in your pupils, I feel trapped in an eternity of beauty...all in your eyes.
    I fall into a trance every time I see you.
    But now...
    I'm going to tell you how I fell.
    I smile, you smile back.
    Your hair falls over your eyes. Annoyed by the passing winter winds, you bring up your soft hands to adjust your hair. I see the goosebumps on your skin. I move my hand brush it over your cheek, I move the hair out of your eyes. You look at me startled, but with happiness as well. I'm finally going to tell you what I feel.
    "Let's go away for a while." I whisper.

    Saturday 23 July 2011

    Let me post a random story

    Still have writers block so here is a story that I wrote for English, its crappy but its all I've got for now. 

    “You know why you are here Tawanda.”
    “Of course, now please stop stating the obvious, your repetitive persistence to do so is dreadfully tiring”
    “You think you’re smart don’t you?”
    “It’s not a matter of thinking, as it would be thoughtless to mention a process which you seem to be entirely unaware of and hardly capable of doing... It is rather a matter of knowing. I have come to the understanding that you are unable to absorb all of the information you are receiving. Let me educate you as you have ‘educated’ me. Let me inform you. Yes, I am intelligent.”
    The teacher frowned; never had he encountered such a conceited child.
    “It is about your speech, Tawanda. Your classmates struggle to understand it...”
     “Should they not make an effort to understand?”
     “You have to understand that the type of effort you are asking for is a bit too much Tawanda, I understand that you are intelligent and capable of doing things unimaginable for your age...”
    “My age? Why must this come into play? Age has nothing to do with this matter.”
    “I understand that you don’t want to be patronised-”
    Tawanda interrupted with a chuckle.
    “Sorry,” Tawanda said “continue.”
    “If you could try and make your work a bit easier to understand...”
    “No, I won’t. If I did so I would be participating in the ‘dumbing down’ of our society. I will not spread the disease that is stupidity to my classmates.”
    “I didn’t mean that you should lower your standards...”
    “Then what do you mean?”
    And then there was silence.
    “When you do have an answer, feel free to tell me.” He calmly left the room.

    I need a publisher.  All the popular publishers won’t print my book. They say they don’t want to invite controversy, yet they say my book is the best ever written. Publish it then! They fear society yet refuse to admit it! If knowledge is meant to be free and widespread then why do they fear the work of one child? Fools.  How can they not understand the need for such a book to be published?  I should publish it myself. No, I’d rather use someone else for my own purposes. I’ll find somebody. There’s always an answer, I always find it.

    Tawanda’s pupils contracted as the glare of the phone’s screen hit his face. He waited a few seconds for his eyes to adjust and looked at the message.

     Haven’t seen you in a while… how are you?

    His heart ached as he looked at the name of the sender. He didn’t know how long he planned on doing this to her, not acknowledging her. He felt terrible. His vast knowledge had come with a hefty price, the loss of his humanity. He didn’t feel normal. He wanted life with mystery, he didn’t want to always be right or always know what would happen next. He put down his phone for a second and looked at the computer. He then dropped everything and ran.
    Later his mother came into his room looking for him, wondering where he went, it was getting late. She then checked his computer for ‘inappropriate abuse’ as all parents of teenagers do. She exhaled her worries away with relief as she saw an article about a failing book publishing company on the web browser. She looked at the article with a bit of concern wondering why a teenage boy would be reading about that.  She then acknowledged the fact that an article about book publishing is better than ‘inappropriate abuse’ and walked out her son’s room smiling contentedly about her parenting.

    Tawanda ran as fast as he possibly could until he approached the green gates of his school. He convinced the guards to let him in and he dashed to his classroom. It was late, but he knew his teacher would be here.
    “Hello Tawanda.”
    “Hi.” Tawanda replied.
    The teacher continued his work, while Tawanda looked at the clock on the wall. It was getting very late.
    The teacher took off his glasses and spoke. “Any reason you’re here?”
    “Yes, it appears I need your help,”
    “For what?” the teacher asked.
    “You own over half of a book publishing company, though a failing one. You’ve lost over eight-five percent in revenue, and you need a bestseller. Publish this!” Tawanda said excitedly as he threw his manuscript on the table.
    “No.”
    “But, I can save you from millions in debt, save your company!”
    “Why would I publish the works of a pessimistic brat? If I have any pride left, I won’t do it.
    Pride over debt?”
    “Convince me otherwise. If you want your book published, get on your knees and apologise.”
    “For what?”  Tawanda shrieked.
    “For being a jerk, you always have to make me look pathetically stupid when I teach. It really kills my self-esteem you know.”
    “I care so much,” muttered Tawanda
    “Do it.” The teacher hissed.
    Tawanda swore rather violently under his breath and went down on his knees.
    “I’m sorry…”
    Tawanda then became the bestselling author of all time, despite his book being banned in several libraries across the world. It is now illegal to speak about this book in public; also, all major religious groups have called for the annihilation of the book. After becoming internationally infamous, Tawanda Mulalu was named Time’s Person of The Year 2011 for ‘[sic] being the greatest jerk ever.’

    Saturday 16 July 2011

    I guess I should come back.

    Hey everyone? Did you miss me? Don't 'BOOO!' me! Don't groan! I know your glad I'm back and besides I need something to keep me occupied.... while I was gone I got into a relationship with my ex AGAIN and then it ended then I wrote some weird story about it. No, I won't post it damnit.... Now I'm being accused of cheating and general badness....so oh well History. Anyways I'm ere now and I plan on doing something big, though first I need to get something big but just wait, trust me I will get something eventually.
    Trust me I'm gonna break down ALL the barriers...
    racial
    religious
    physical
    sexual

    WHY??
    'Cause... I don't give a damn... well anymore...

    Saturday 30 April 2011

    It Has Been A REALLY REALLY long time

    I haven't updated this in a while but I promise I will post tomorrow... internet has been down and a lot of things  are pissing me off so yeah.... Tomorrow

    Oh yeah...
    Tell your friends!

    Thursday 14 April 2011

    Twelth One

    Today, we watched a very interesting show in English. It was an old comedy series called Grange Hill
    Our English teacher explained to us that due to the show's habit of portraying the truth, many adults and teachers did not like it?
    But WAIT?
    What was this show even about?
    It was about the lives of the pupils attending Grange Hill High School... This caused controversy because the show portrayed school life as it actually was, being bullied by fellow students, being abused and suffering from issues such as poverty and even drug addiction at a later stage. Obviously, this must have caused some kind of panic with adults. It is a very interesting show with wonderful story and characters (all with HEAVY 100% PURE BRITISH ACCENT). The show was very popular and according to our teacher all the kids and teenagers watched (it was pretty good actually) and it lasted 30 years (1978-2008 [R.I.P :P]. It has had 600 episodes (GASP!)
    File:GHTITLES78-87.jpg

     I had to literally play doctor (though to little success) to Worship, whom ended up with a bee sting after from drinking Coca-Cola ( yes he DRANK a freakin' bee). All his 'friends' laughed and scuttled away while I had to pull the thing off with my fingers... ARGHHH! Allen and Sedia stated (after I assured them that I actually DID wash my hands) that no-one is capable of recovering from doing something like that, Thapelo said that I was really brave... PEOPLE ALL I DID WAS MAN-UP AND TOUCH A BIT OF SPIT!
    It wasn't even that bad... or maybe I have the abilities of a good doctor though this could be me just getting ahead of myself... oh well....


    Also an award winning artist (who also had a British accent, but not as thick) by the name of Soweto Kinch came to our school. His talk about Jazz and Hip-Hop was very enlightening and fun. He played on his saxophone, rapped and played on his piano. Because of his workshop I discovered that I'm not a bad rapper! Thanks man and good luck in your musical (jazzical and hip-hopical) pursuits!
    File:Soweto Kinch 2.jpg

    Wednesday 13 April 2011

    Eleventh One

    Today, in English our teacher gave us an interesting topic:
    The best book you've ever read why it was good
    I was lost...
    You see, I read too much so I really couldn't think of anything...
    So I wrote:
    The best book I have ever read does not exist yet.... Why? Because I haven't bothered to pick up and write it. I'm not being arrogant... I'm being truthful. Once I stop being too lazy to write, your eyes will burst from amazement and awe once you see my printed words... So just wait.
    Brian Wilson (upon listening to the 'Beatle's' 'Revolver') told his wife that he was going to create the best rock album ever.
    Guess what?

    He did.

    Soon the 'Beach Boy's' 'Pet Sounds' was made.
    It was considered groundbreaking and revolutionary... It is considered one of , if not the best by many.... 
    It has outlasted many others (it was released in the 1960s)
    [Brian listened to 'Revolver' by The Beatles and made 'Pet Sounds' with the Beach Boys. Paul McCartney of The Beatles listened to Pet Sounds (He loved it actually) and then made Sgt.Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band with his band (I can see a pattern...)
    I'm going to do the same
    But even better.
    My book makes Shakespeare shiver in his grave and makes J.K Rowling fall apart and beg for me to stop writing. (Hell Yeah!)

    This is why I love English.
    My teacher didn't even shout at me, he smiled and said
    "I expect the book in May"

    OH NOOO!

    I still love English though (Thnaks Mr. Haggar :]


    
    Beatles: Revolver
    The Beach Boys: Pet Sounds

    The Beatles: Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band
    The Beach Boys Hit Single: Good Vibrations
    The Beatles: Rubber Soul

    Tuesday 5 April 2011

    Sixth One

    There is gonna be a late grading for karate, so I have to come unless I want to remain a pathetic and insignificant white belt forever...
    My mom just gave my sister and I the whole speech about life, the usual was there...
    "work harder!"
    "don't lie"
    "lies catch up with you"
    "remain humble"
    "be a good person"
    "don't try to outsmart your parents"

    Unfortunately I've attempted (and succeeded) at doing all of the above to a certain point, though my parents consider me rude, argumentative and arrogant because of it....
    basketball kick
    Today during basketball all sorts of fouls happened. Little boys were kicked in the shin, but not by the strong, buff, RIPPED (no homo) upper forms.... but by OTHER little kids, unbelievably, our own team ended up marking each other, some even fell to the floor and banged their head against some random brick. The same brick was move AWAY from the court by the boy who had the terrible misfortune of being hit on the head.

    Irony sucks.


    Monday 4 April 2011

    Tired

    Sorry Alex, I will post the stuff tomorrow... I' m just too tired...

    Also those of who you who decided to actually read this, I am grateful. You stuck through and I appreciate it. Please continue reading and follow, comment and share and stuff... Heck I don't have much to say.... I'm just too tired.... You are great guys.
    Thank you for acknowledging my existence.
    Thank you.

    The Fifth One

    So now I sit in our school computer room after a long sweeping session.
    That is how we do detention at our school, you sweep the classroom. Though it wasn't so bad cause |I met a Form 4 guy who had an interesting story to tell. He got detention because he was apparently being insolent to his teacher... After he explained his story I chuckled at the unfairness of his punishment...
    Though I didn't get all the details, he was defending his friend and got in trouble for it. I understand completely what he was going through because that unfortunately happens quite often. He was then told to see the teacher after class.
    I imagine the conversation went a bit like this...
    "Why are you rude to me?"
    "How was I rude?"
    "There you go again!"
    "What do you mean again?"
    "This needs to stop."
    "Alrlight."
    "Do you think I accept insolence from my students?"
    "Alright."

    He then proceeded to leave but was the interrupted.

    "Aren't you going to apologize?"
    "For what?"
    "Apologize."

    His answer?

    "No."

    Perhaps that explains why he got detention.

    I spent most of my day promoting my blog to my classmates. I even created a little sign on a piece of paper and held it up as my classmates walked by. It was embarrasing, I hope it was worth it. Then my evil friends suprised me with an evil gift when I walked into the Science room. You b@$7@*0$  know what you did and if you think I'm not getting you back you are dead wrong... Just watch this space...

    In my next posts I will have a few suggestions from my friends and I will also introduce you to some new people... Tumo and Trevor...

    Ya. You guys are dead. :P

    Sunday 3 April 2011

    Fourth One

    I am still into cartoons. I don't understand why but I am...
    You think that a teenager would get tired of idiots with stupidly weird hair shouting things like "BAKUGAN BRAWL!" but sadly, for some reason I don't. Maybe its cause I'm bored or something. I also like reading Wikipedia pages about pretty much anything, now I am capable of writing a book about chocolate and it's history.
    A few days ago when I was in the shop with my mother and my sister, I came upon a glorious bottle of refreshment.
    It was called 'Ice T'
    I was amazed. Who ever thought it possible to turn the letter 'T' into a liquid then freeze it? Does the 'T' experience pain during the process? Does 'T' get squashed into a satisfying drink for our thirsty throats? Does 'T' have feelings? In my opinion, this requires further investigation. I'm considering sending a letter to the manufactures to put the 'T' out of its misery and stop using it for the purposes of quenching thirst.

    Dear Sir/Madam

    What you are doing to the letter T is evil and inappropriate. To think that you are subjecting the first letter of my name to such cruel, inhumane treatment is satanic!  I will contact several animal rights groups if this does not stop.

    Yours sincerely 

    Tawanda Mulalu

    Its just a thought.



    Thursday 31 March 2011

    The First One

    First Entry Okay, this is my first entry in my blog... Oh I should probably tell you who I am.
    My name is Tawanda W.T Mulalu.
    I live in Africa, a beautiful continent with very slow internet speeds.
    I am a nerd.
    Great...
    This is probably the part where I am supposed to tell you stuff about my life, right...?
    Well today I existed...
    School was boring.
    Exciting ain't it?
    Anyways we had some epically boring English test that I know I failed but I really didn't give a...
    Seriously, convincing teenagers to read The Hobbit by that guy who wrote 'The Lord of the Rings' will cause kids to just be brimming with excitement. I suspect that teachers mistake the sad groans of saddness that kids make for joy and laughter. BIG MISTAKE GUYS.
    "So you mean when I gave the children homework, they were not happy to be learing about the history of people that other people do not know and don't really care about?"
    No. What would give you that idea? The chorus of swear words from your pupils mean NOTHING. Absolutely NOTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Not to mention French, were we had to draw pictures of our pets.
    I saw mutated dogs that looked like they just came out of a radioactive testing facility and goldfish whose fins were SO BIG that they could fly I they decided to flap their wings... sorry FINS. All on paper, no photoshop required. Oh and the cafeteria.... have you ever had chocolate mousse that you can actually choke on?
    I did.
    Today.
    Yes, it was that thick.
    Not to mention it was so sweet that even Willy Wonka would have an issue serving THAT to kids.
    "Sure I make teeth rot, sure I make people vomit due to extreme sugar rush... but no. I would never EVER make a desert that a child would NOT be able to enjoy. That would be messed up."
    -Willy Wonka on the cafeteria mousse.

    I leave you with a few links of the funniest websites I have seen.
    www.uncyclopedia.wikia.com
    www.unfriendable.com
    www.tasteofawesome.com
    www.fmylife.com
    www.cracked.com


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