Sorry for not posting in a span... I just entered into Four and stuff, its been busy. Oh, and Debate! Not only that but my Additional Mathematics class received its Add. Math textbook... on The Ides Of March. In any case... here is some MOAR English Coursework. This time for Form Four!
VALENTINE'S DAY SHOULD BE BANNED.
The
bane of humanity’s romantic existence has not been sexual misconduct, but
something far more sinister; and that, my friends and potential lovers, would
be Valentine’s Day. To put it lightly: Valentine’s
Day really just sucks. Valentine’s
Day is not a Shakespearean dream of lovely roses and sweet chocolate. It is
rather, a hell composed by Milton himself; one of bleeding fingers from stinging
thorns beneath rose petals, and bitter gluttony of fat accumulating beyond the
biting of chocolate… And what makes this whole nightmare worse, is Valentine’s
Day is wholly unnecessary. If couples’ really wanted to have themselves a
special day, it could actually be at any time of the year and of their
convenience. This means that
insufferable displays of romantic bravado could be shown to a private audience
and not the whole world, and certainly not aid in affecting the market value of
chocolate.
This
dreadful day also demeans love. Perhaps it was wrong of me to ascribe the
notion of Valentine’s Day as being thought of as a
‘Shakespearean dream,’ when ultimately the great poet himself would ridicule
it. To get an idea of how utterly
useless this day is one should examine it through his eyes. Nowhere, absolutely nowhere in his Sonnets is Shakespeare interested in Valentine’s
Day. Did Shakespeare ever write ‘Shall I compare thee to a Valentine’s day?’
The
answer is No.
And
this isn’t because the accursed day did not exist during the great chap’s time,
but rather because he had a good sense of what art is and what love
is. Shakespeare chose to compare his
love to a summer’s day, something so gorgeously uncomplicated, something so
strikingly normal, because he knew he could ultimately find beauty in what is
taken for granted. By making love a spectacle of grandeur we diminish it, because
love is simple; be it the chemicals
in your brain yearning for the opposite sex or the sheer strength of the
Platonic,it’s still simple. Valentine’s
Day goes against all of this because it attempts to force love onto some
special day when on any fine day, be it summer, spring, winter and perhapsAutumn
the joyful ode of love goes on unabated. And because Valentine’s Day goes
against what love naturally is; it is therefore unnecessary and even prohibitive of love.
Valentine’s
Day also makes a good proportion of the population rather miserable, which also
seems quite contrary to its purpose. If we take the time to examine what
Valentine’s Day does to these poor souls, it only furthers my case.
First,
let us start with the obvious; and that would be Mr Lonely. Mr Lonely has no
luck with girls whatsoever. As
sympathetic creatures do you think it’s fair that every year that we bombard Mr
Lonely with images of red and pink hearts when he can’t get a girl? Think
deeply, how do you think Mr Lonely feels when the whole world decides to tell
him in merciless commercials and advertisements, in awkward questions from
friends, and sad phone calls from his mother… that he is inadequate for any
romantic partner?
Second,
we have the Hopeless Romantic. This is the person for whom love is the most
fundamental aspect of their whole lives. You would like to think that Valentine’s
Day would be cause for them to celebrate. Think again, because what you instead
have is the accumulated stress of an entire life’s worth of fundamental meaning
in your life being slammed into your face.
Say you like Ferraris. I doubt you’d like it if one hit you at full speed
one morning, and this is what Valentine’s Day is for the Hopeless Romantic.
Their entire purpose for their very existence summed up in one day, and after
that it just decays. So the rest of the year is either spent in agony, waiting
for one to relive their existence, or they gain a sort of post-traumatic stress
over having to watch their life flash
before their very eyes.
Third,
we have Mr Forgetful. It’s not that Mr Forgetful doesn’t love his wife. It’s
just that he’s really forgetful. But do you honestly believe for one second
that his wife, loaded up on by the media hype and sheer hysteria of Valentine’s
Day is going to let Valentine’s Day go? Let’s put it this way: Mr Forgetful
better hope he doesn’t forget his pen to sign his divorce papers on the
fifteenth.
These
are only a few of the people who Valentine’s Daymakes miserable. We can’t
forget The Womanizer, Ms Shy, or countless others. Though what makes Valentine’s Day particularly
despicable is that everyone can either classify themselves as one of these people, or knows one of these people. Every year, someone suffers.
Ladies
and Gentlemen, Valentine’s Day should be banned.
