Thank You Stalker

AWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!

Guys somebody loves me!

It is no other than my stalker Natasha Mbwana! (Not the math Natasha, the DRAMA Natasha!)

Let me just clarify; my very nice friend Natasha mentioned me on her very awesome blog.
And she even put some of her favourite posts on her blog (without my permission but I do love the way she formatted them) .

So dear stalker; I would like to thank you very much and would like to let you know that you have been added to L3PB's special post list...

Just watch this space...

COMING SOON, TO A BLOG NEAR YOU, THE MOST EPIC POST OF THE YEAR:

I really love MS Paint... It is just too awesome...

P.S
On the actual post; Natasha states that I am her self-proclaimed stalker. THIS IS LIES AND NONSENSE. THAT CHICK HAS BEEN FOLLOWING/WATCHING ME SINCE DAY ONE, thank you very much.

Fifteenth One

"Excelsior!"

In case you haven't noticed I've been a whole lot of bitter recently...but I feel like things are shaping up.
In fact-
They are Getting Better.
First of all I'm content with being single, though I occasionally yearn to talk to a girl or something.
Second of all, I'm growing taller.
Third of all, I'm reading a lot of good literature and a few graphic novels. Very satisfying.
Fourth of all, my writing is actually a bit better now. I'm really happy about that one.
Fifth of all, I'm learning how to debate.
Sixth of all, I'm actually a decent actor ( to the point where me and Haadiya were acting out a scene- that a bunch of guys think that we were in a relationship and that I was cheating on her.)
Seventh of all, I'm listening to good music.
Eight of all, I had a great conversation with my grandparents.
Ninth of all, I'm learning to be human.
Tenth of all, I've realized that I'm pretty worth all the damn trouble I've been given. And that I'm gonna make it out of all these stupid messes somehow.

And I don't need a some 'god out of the machine' to be bail me out. I'm gonna think and do something with my life. I'm going to be a writer, amateur or not. I'm gonna write at least one good story.

I'm going to do it.

Oh and you know, I had a really good day today.

One more thing, good luck to Tao Kgosiemang with his United Nations stuff; I know he'll do a good job.

Here's his story...

And if he did what I asked him to, then all you other United Nation kids, I gotta say "Hi there! I'm Tawanda W.T Mulalu, an aspiring writer! How about checking out the rest of my blog? You should definitely check out the story I wrote, it's called 'Bitterness and Hope.' Follow my blog, share it and enjoy! Oh and good luck to you guys too!"

Though the above statement is relying on Tao...which means its pretty much redundant.

Well I can hope can't I?

Fourteenth One

I got a B for English because of my arrogance.

I've never been downgraded because of my the nature of my personality.

*Sigh*

Trevor spent most of English laughing at 'what could have been' while I mindlessly answered questions and fell into a deep state of daydreaming.

By the way...through the aid of Wikipedia and various other websites ( and Google of course- you can't deny Google ( well China did (Well they do things differently there ( Mind control I mean ( I'm being monitored (Oh and I'm kinda scared ( Help...( I'v lost track of how many brackets I used...(I'll count ))))))

I probably mis-counted.

Oh yeah, (ignore the incorrect grammar) through the aid of ... I have diagnosed myself with developing psychopathy...

And I must say- its really creepin' me out

Lord help me...

Thirteenth One

"Smile..."
School tomorrow and I haven't done a thing about my bags and stationery yet...
Problem is I can't say a word about stationery to my mom otherwise she'll kill for even mentioning that word...
So basically I'm stuck going to school with no stationery and I'm gonna have to rely on my very 'kindly' friends for assistance. In other words I'm screwed... to make matters worse I'm getting writer's block again and it doesn't seem to be helping my writing at all for example right now....

Hey but no matter. I'll get back into it as soon as I can...Well I will try.


*sigh*

Twelth One

Today, we watched a very interesting show in English. It was an old comedy series called Grange Hill
Our English teacher explained to us that due to the show's habit of portraying the truth, many adults and teachers did not like it?
But WAIT?
What was this show even about?

It was about the lives of the pupils attending Grange Hill High School... This caused controversy because the show portrayed school life as it actually was, being bullied by fellow students, being abused and suffering from issues such as poverty and even drug addiction at a later stage. Obviously, this must have caused some kind of panic with adults. It is a very interesting show with wonderful story and characters (all with HEAVY 100% PURE BRITISH ACCENT). The show was very popular and according to our teacher all the kids and teenagers watched (it was pretty good actually) and it lasted 30 years (1978-2008 [R.I.P :P]. It has had 600 episodes (GASP!)

 I had to literally play doctor (though to little success) to Worship, whom ended up with a bee sting after from drinking Coca-Cola ( yes he DRANK a freakin' bee). All his 'friends' laughed and scuttled away while I had to pull the thing off with my fingers... ARGHHH! Allen and Sedia stated (after I assured them that I actually DID wash my hands) that no-one is capable of recovering from doing something like that, Thapelo said that I was really brave... PEOPLE ALL I DID WAS MAN-UP AND TOUCH A BIT OF SPIT!
It wasn't even that bad... or maybe I have the abilities of a good doctor though this could be me just getting ahead of myself... oh well....

Also an award winning artist (who also had a British accent, but not as thick) by the name of Soweto Kinch came to our school. His talk about Jazz and Hip-Hop was very enlightening and fun. He played on his saxophone, rapped and played on his piano. Because of his workshop I discovered that I'm not a bad rapper! Thanks man and good luck in your musical (jazzical and hip-hopical) pursuits!

Eleventh One

Today, in English our teacher gave us an interesting topic:

The best book you've ever read why it was good

I was lost...

You see, I read too much so I really couldn't think of anything...

So I wrote:

The best book I have ever read does not exist yet.... Why? Because I haven't bothered to pick up and write it. I'm not being arrogant... I'm being truthful. Once I stop being too lazy to write, your eyes will burst from amazement and awe once you see my printed words... So just wait.

Brian Wilson (upon listening to the 'Beatle's' 'Revolver') told his wife that he was going to create the best rock album ever.

Guess what?

He did.

Soon the 'Beach Boy's' 'Pet Sounds' was made.

It was considered groundbreaking and revolutionary... It is considered one of , if not the best by many.... 

It has outlasted many others (it was released in the 1960s)

[Brian listened to 'Revolver' by The Beatles and made 'Pet Sounds' with the Beach Boys. Paul McCartney of The Beatles listened to Pet Sounds (He loved it actually) and then made Sgt.Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band with his band (I can see a pattern...)

I'm going to do the same

But even better.

My book makes Shakespeare shiver in his grave and makes J.K Rowling fall apart and beg for me to stop writing. (Hell Yeah!)

This is why I love English.

My teacher didn't even shout at me, he smiled and said

"I expect the book in May"

OH NOOO!

I still love English though (Thnaks Mr. Haggar :]) 



Beatles: Revolver

The Beach Boys: Pet Sounds

The Beatles: Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band

The Beach Boys Hit Single: Good Vibrations

The Beatles: Rubber Soul

To find out more about the friendly competition between The Beatles and The Beach Boys... click here

Sixth One

There is gonna be a late grading for karate, so I have to come unless I want to remain a pathetic and insignificant white belt forever...
My mom just gave my sister and I the whole speech about life, the usual was there...
"work harder!"
"don't lie"
"lies catch up with you"
"remain humble"
"be a good person"
"don't try to outsmart your parents"

Unfortunately I've attempted (and succeeded) at doing all of the above to a certain point, though my parents consider me rude, argumentative and arrogant because of it....

Today during basketball all sorts of fouls happened. Little boys were kicked in the shin, but not by the strong, buff, RIPPED (no homo) upper forms.... but by OTHER little kids, unbelievably, our own team ended up marking each other, some even fell to the floor and banged their head against some random brick. The same brick was move AWAY from the court by the boy who had the terrible misfortune of being hit on the head.

Irony sucks.

The Fifth One

So now I sit in our school computer room after a long sweeping session.
That is how we do detention at our school, you sweep the classroom. Though it wasn't so bad cause |I met a Form 4 guy who had an interesting story to tell. He got detention because he was apparently being insolent to his teacher... After he explained his story I chuckled at the unfairness of his punishment...

Though I didn't get all the details, he was defending his friend and got in trouble for it. I understand completely what he was going through because that unfortunately happens quite often. He was then told to see the teacher after class.

I imagine the conversation went a bit like this...
"Why are you rude to me?"
"How was I rude?"
"There you go again!"
"What do you mean again?"
"This needs to stop."
"Alrlight."
"Do you think I accept insolence from my students?"
"Alright."

He then proceeded to leave but was the interrupted.

"Aren't you going to apologize?"
"For what?"
"Apologize."

His answer?

"No."

Perhaps that explains why he got detention.

I spent most of my day promoting my blog to my classmates. I even created a little sign on a piece of paper and held it up as my classmates walked by. It was embarrasing, I hope it was worth it. Then my evil friends suprised me with an evil gift when I walked into the Science room. You b@$7@*0$  know what you did and if you think I'm not getting you back you are dead wrong... Just watch this space...

In my next posts I will have a few suggestions from my friends and I will also introduce you to some new people... Tumo and Trevor...

Ya. You guys are dead. :P

Fourth One

I am still into cartoons. I don't understand why but I am...

You think that a teenager would get tired of idiots with stupidly weird hair shouting things like "BAKUGAN BRAWL!" but sadly, for some reason I don't. Maybe its cause I'm bored or something. I also like reading Wikipedia pages about pretty much anything, now I am capable of writing a book about chocolate and it's history.

A few days ago when I was in the shop with my mother and my sister, I came upon a glorious bottle of refreshment.

It was called 'Ice T'

I was amazed. Who ever thought it possible to turn the letter 'T' into a liquid then freeze it? Does the 'T' experience pain during the process? Does 'T' get squashed into a satisfying drink for our thirsty throats? Does 'T' have feelings? In my opinion, this requires further investigation. I'm considering sending a letter to the manufactures to put the 'T' out of its misery and stop using it for the purposes of quenching thirst.

Dear Sir/Madam

What you are doing to the letter T is evil and inappropriate. To think that you are subjecting the first letter of my name to such cruel, inhumane treatment is satanic!  I will contact several animal rights groups if this does not stop.

Yours sincerely 

Tawanda Mulalu

Its just a thought.

The First One

First Entry Okay, this is my first entry in my blog... Oh I should probably tell you who I am.
My name is Tawanda W.T Mulalu.
I live in Africa, a beautiful continent with very slow internet speeds.
I am a nerd.
Great...
This is probably the part where I am supposed to tell you stuff about my life, right...?
Well today I existed...
School was boring.
Exciting ain't it?
Anyways we had some epically boring English test that I know I failed but I really didn't give a...
Seriously, convincing teenagers to read The Hobbit by that guy who wrote 'The Lord of the Rings' will cause kids to just be brimming with excitement. I suspect that teachers mistake the sad groans of saddness that kids make for joy and laughter. BIG MISTAKE GUYS.
"So you mean when I gave the children homework, they were not happy to be learing about the history of people that other people do not know and don't really care about?"
No. What would give you that idea? The chorus of swear words from your pupils mean NOTHING. Absolutely NOTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Not to mention French, were we had to draw pictures of our pets.
I saw mutated dogs that looked like they just came out of a radioactive testing facility and goldfish whose fins were SO BIG that they could fly I they decided to flap their wings... sorry FINS. All on paper, no photoshop required. Oh and the cafeteria.... have you ever had chocolate mousse that you can actually choke on?
I did.
Today.
Yes, it was that thick.
Not to mention it was so sweet that even Willy Wonka would have an issue serving THAT to kids.
"Sure I make teeth rot, sure I make people vomit due to extreme sugar rush... but no. I would never EVER make a desert that a child would NOT be able to enjoy. That would be messed up."
-Willy Wonka on the cafeteria mousse.

I leave you with a few links of the funniest websites I have seen.
www.uncyclopedia.wikia.com
www.unfriendable.com
www.tasteofawesome.com
www.fmylife.com
www.cracked.com